Action Scene Example

Now that I have given you my recommendations, I would like to provide an example from my current project. As a bit of exposition, this was caused by the vice-captain of the Temporal Guard (Maeru) taking out his frustration on one of the training members. As a result, the captain (Arynna) decides to let him fight her in the hopes of teaching him a lesson. I apologize in advance for its length, but it gets the job done. Without further ado, here it is:

Maeru shivered and backed up a step, and she took a broad stride forward until her face was inches from him. Arynna’s height allowed her to have a slightly higher gaze, and she used that to her advantage. “If you want to fight so badly, then you will fight me.” She motioned and one of the guards threw her a staff. One of the others led the injured boy out of the ring, and she moved into the ready stance. She saw a small flare of frustration in his expression, and then he too moved into the stance.

They circled one another as they had done in countless drills, and she used her staff to block his attacks, flipping it from side to side in a dance that flowed from one defense into another. Watching the pattern of his movements, she looked for openings as she began to exchange attacks. She moved swiftly from block to strike and back to block, her hands only shifting their weight on the weapon in her hands. She noticed that every few attacks he would leave his side open, and she knew that he was reading her movements for any weak blocks or openings.

He hit her knuckles with one of his attacks, and she stepped back to avoid the following move, twirling so that she came to his flank. Her staff connected with is ribs, and he stumbled but managed to block her next attack. He growled and began to increase the speed of his attacks, his frustration beginning to break through. She blocked and parried each of his attacks, focusing on finding a way to disarm him. When she saw her chance, she deftly flipped her staff between his hands and broke through his thumbs, sending his staff twirling to land on the other side of the field. She quickly twisted the staff so that the other side hit him and sent him stumbling back before sweeping his legs from under him and planting the end of the staff into the base of his throat.

Looking up at her, Maeru almost gulped at the coldness of her expression. She revealed small fangs as she spoke to him, and he gulped, wondering what animal’s form she could assume. “Do not ever take out your frustration at me or my orders on one of the guards again, or you will be permanently banished from the guards and from the lands of the royal palace.” She narrowed her gaze at him, “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, mistress,” he stuttered. The end of the staff was removed and she turned away to walk back to the watching guards.

Action Scenes

We have finally arrived at the beginning of our work on showing things that happen! While it might be fun to talk about exposition (please not the hint of sarcasm), I decided to start with something near and dear to my heart- fight scenes. However, depending on how they are written, they can either make or break an influential part of your story. Therefore, I would like to bring up just a few things. 

·         Be specific with strikes. As a martial artist and a reader, it is not very helpful for my imagination to read “person A punched/kicked person B.” Where did person A strike, and what kind of strike was it? It is better with such words to say that he or she did a roundhouse kick to the person’s side, as it helps the reader to better picture the scene.

·         Remember, weapons are the extensions of your arms. There are many types of weapons, and each has a style and specific pattern of attacks. You will never see a person wield a staff (which is supposed to be as long as the person is tall) with one hand because he or she would be easily disarmed. Similarly, some weapons such as sai are used in pairs, and can be used for both offense and defense. If you are not sure how a specific weapon is used, it is best to do research to make sure that you get it right. It might be annoying, but it will make the portrayal of the scene much better (and more accurate as well).

·         Do not carry them out for extended lengths. Most fights do not last long in reality, especially if one party is much more skilled than the other. Also, not only is it taxing reading a fight that takes a long time, but it is also difficult to keep your concentration while writing it. Do not make it too short, but please keep it a reasonable length.

Relationships

This is (at least in my opinion) an interesting subject, as this is one of the topics that will develop through the course of the story. I feel like this is going to be my last post of exposition before delving into the action (which means a look at perspective and portraying action in the near future) of the story. Since this is a fluctuating topic, this is in no way, shape, or form concrete! Before you begin, you might want to make a chart or something to show how your characters relate to one another, who gets along (and who doesn't), and which ones are in charge of the others. To be honest, this is the first time that I am going to do so before I begin to write, as I like to write the introduction of my main character(s) of my stories before anything else. However, initial relationships between characters should not be an afterthought.

Feathery Thoughts (schoononover.deviantart.com)

Now that I have my miniature rant out of the way, let's get down to business. First of all, which other characters comprise of your main character's family? Who are they friends with? Who do they dislike (or hate, since it makes it much more fun to have a character that frequently pops in to annoy your main character... but I digress)? Do they have a boss, or are they someone else's boss? Are they in a relationship with another character in the beginning of the story? Since we have the laundry list, we can begin to compile everything... or at least to make some sort of chart and show where all of your characters lie.

As I have before, I will use Arynna as an example (she is my current story muse, as the story events play out randomly in my head).

• Family: her mother and father are very influential members of the kingdom's court, though she has no idea that they are her parents. The only one who knows that they are related is her mother, and she isn't talking.
• Arynna is the captain of the Temporal Guard, but because of her personality her vice-captains do not stick around long. Her current captain is Maeru, and he can be cocky, so she has to put him in his place at times (much to his distaste). The other guard that shows up in the beginning is Hyorin, who is constantly getting in trouble for being late (he is like a lost puppy on the side of the street in the rain) but is very loyal.
• She is very close to the queen/ keeper of the realm of time, for reasons other than being the captain. The queen acts as her mother (plot hole/ hint). Arynna's relation to the king, however, is more related to her business than friendship or family. From time to time she is required to perform tasks as the Court Assassin (her job is interesting and complicated), and when she goes to fix a rift in time she should report back to the king (she makes her vice-captain do this- just one of the reasons why they do not stick around).

There is not much more to tell about my character, but trying this with your character might be able to help the exposition move more smoothly. Just remember that these things can be changed whenever you feel like it, and please do not exhaust your characters by writing too much. If anything, you could simply write the names of the characters and a sentence about who they are. Have fun writing, and be prepared next week to tackle some action!